We all face rejection at some point or the other in our life in various aspects like in a relationship (It’s not you it’s me) or at work (You are not yet ready for this leadership role) or by venture capitalists (This idea doesn’t have a spark). For Entrepreneurs it’s almost a given that they will face rejection in the course of the day. Many of the people who start off with a dream and vision often get discouraged by their negative experiences of facing rejection and stop without completing their goal. You don’t have to become a thick skinned person to be able to deal with rejection, you just need to break it down and decode it. Here’s 3 simple ways to change your attitude and deal with rejection like a pro.
- Expect It
“I don’t really have disappointments, because I build myself up for rejection” – Nicholas Hoult
In any given task obstacle 1 is fear of Rejection. One of my catch phrases is “Hope for the best and prepare for the worst”. When you take a risk by applying for a job let’s say, the best case scenario is you get it and the worst case scenario is you don’t. So why not at least try? A lot of people who never even take the risk because they fear being rejected.
A very interesting concept given by Jay Cross, creator of DIY Degree is “The Continuum of Doers” which states that “You are never competing with “Everyone” who enters a competition. Every obstacle makes the lazy and uncommitted people drop out, leaving you to compete with a tiny handful of true winners at the top”
So for every job application received, there were a 100 who didn’t even apply because they decided they weren’t going to get it, so what’s point in trying. In essence they “rejected themselves”
Rejection is like a filter that separated the determined from the half-hearted, wishy washy people. If you come to view the fear of rejection as nothing, more than Obstacle 1, then you begin to move past it quickly and onto the next one.
Get over it
“A Rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success” – Bo Bennett
Remember to not take rejection personally. It’s easier said than done right? When you hear a NO, there are many factors that are involved. Some of course are in your control, but not all. Let’s face it rejection hurts and denying yourself from feeling this pain often leads to suppressed feelings and emotions that are very harmful in the long run. It’s very important that we first acknowledge and accept that there has been a momentary set back and move on.
The only person who suffers from wallowing in past failures is YOU. So instead of feeling dejected and self-pity, try and assess if there is anything you could have done differently and try it next time around. Continuing to take action no matter what is the characteristic of a genuine leader.
“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better” – Dr Steve Maraboli
Rejecting rejection is a matter of psychology as you can’t let rejection define who you are at the core. Start by making a list of your past successes. By reminding yourself of what you have accomplished and overcome in the past allows you to view yourself in a more positive light. People who have been through a traumatic event and survived, often use that as a reminder by telling themselves” If I could overcome that, or if I could live through that, this is nothing”
You are not defined by any one person’s opinion or by a single incident. One should always consider the source of criticism before accepting it as the truth. Everyone comes with their own mind-sets and baggage, so if they don’t believe in you, it’s their problem not yours.
Conclusion: It’s time to look at rejection as it really is. A fuel for doing better, an obstacle that tests your determination, an opinion that has nothing to do with you, a blessing that reveals itself in hindsight, a lesson that needed to be learned and a reality that we need to accept as a matter of fact and not fear. So don’t let a few No’s derail you from your path to success.
- Expect It